Testicle Guest

I was pooping at work for the 2nd time today. As I was doing the deed I noticed an ant crawling along the floor right in front of the toilet. I wadded up some toilet paper and believed to have crushed the ant within. I threw that wad into the toilet on top of some TP and shit. Around 30 seconds later I felt a strange sensation on my right testicle. It was my good friend bathroom ant #4 exploring new territory. I'm pretty sure that this was a once in a lifetime experience, kind of like having someone throw up on your penis. I'm pretty sure something else great is in the cards for me today...

Brigitte Bardot

Former model, Brigitte Bardot has been convicted of "provoking discrimination and racial hatred for writing that Muslims are destroying France." She was against some Muslim feast and the way that it slaughtered sheeps. This is the fourth time she has been arrested on similar charges. Her lawyers have said "She has the impression that people want to silence her. She will not be silenced in her defense of animal rights."

I ask, if she was really a supporter of animal rights, shouldn't she be FOR Muslims.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080603/ap_en_ce/france_bardot_racism

Love Poems

I wrote some love poems.


Making Love

Your eyes look wonderful tonight
Your thighs feel wonderful tonight

My lovestick grows with every touch
I want to be in you, oh so much

The only way this could be any better
If you body was even deader


Anatomy

Your hair is soft yet hard, like a ripe nectarine
Your eyes are endless, like a bowl of cherries
Your lips are supple, like a donkey
Your breasts are perky, like coffee
Your stomach flat like an iron
Your ass is perfect like a God
Your legs are as long as the day is long
Your body is perfect, which helps make up for your shitty personality


If you weren't so fat

If you weren't so fat, I wouldn't seethe
Everytime I heard you breathe

If you weren't so fat, I wouldn't want to punch you in the belly
Everytime you sweat and get real smelly

If you weren't so fat, I wouldn't get sick
Everytime you touched my dick

At least you're white


Seeing You

I love seeing you waking up
I love seeing you sip from your coffee cup

I love seeing you in that dress with flowers
I love seeing you getting out the shower

I love seeing you lie naked beneath the covers
You really should get better shutters