I want to drink vodka.

Zach Galifianakis has made three advertisements for Absolut Vodka featuring Tim and Eric. You can see those here and here and here.

Elections

Bruce Wayne just backed the moderate Democrat in DC Comic's election-themed special. This may be the happiest day of my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGikj5N2xPM

"this just realizes all your pain ...your angriness"

Testicle Guest

I was pooping at work for the 2nd time today. As I was doing the deed I noticed an ant crawling along the floor right in front of the toilet. I wadded up some toilet paper and believed to have crushed the ant within. I threw that wad into the toilet on top of some TP and shit. Around 30 seconds later I felt a strange sensation on my right testicle. It was my good friend bathroom ant #4 exploring new territory. I'm pretty sure that this was a once in a lifetime experience, kind of like having someone throw up on your penis. I'm pretty sure something else great is in the cards for me today...

Brigitte Bardot

Former model, Brigitte Bardot has been convicted of "provoking discrimination and racial hatred for writing that Muslims are destroying France." She was against some Muslim feast and the way that it slaughtered sheeps. This is the fourth time she has been arrested on similar charges. Her lawyers have said "She has the impression that people want to silence her. She will not be silenced in her defense of animal rights."

I ask, if she was really a supporter of animal rights, shouldn't she be FOR Muslims.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080603/ap_en_ce/france_bardot_racism

Love Poems

I wrote some love poems.


Making Love

Your eyes look wonderful tonight
Your thighs feel wonderful tonight

My lovestick grows with every touch
I want to be in you, oh so much

The only way this could be any better
If you body was even deader


Anatomy

Your hair is soft yet hard, like a ripe nectarine
Your eyes are endless, like a bowl of cherries
Your lips are supple, like a donkey
Your breasts are perky, like coffee
Your stomach flat like an iron
Your ass is perfect like a God
Your legs are as long as the day is long
Your body is perfect, which helps make up for your shitty personality


If you weren't so fat

If you weren't so fat, I wouldn't seethe
Everytime I heard you breathe

If you weren't so fat, I wouldn't want to punch you in the belly
Everytime you sweat and get real smelly

If you weren't so fat, I wouldn't get sick
Everytime you touched my dick

At least you're white


Seeing You

I love seeing you waking up
I love seeing you sip from your coffee cup

I love seeing you in that dress with flowers
I love seeing you getting out the shower

I love seeing you lie naked beneath the covers
You really should get better shutters

Dumb Asian Slur

When I was getting on the plane to go to St. Maarten there were a bunch of AUC students in line behind me. Since the line wasn't moving they started talking about construction. The Asian one started talking about what her dad called a "curiosity stop" when people would stop to look at an accident. The the white male (I'm trying to paint a picture) said "Oh, sort of like rubbernecking", the brown girl said "what is rubbernecking" even though the definition was already explained. The Asian then said "isn't that when cars are bumper to bumper and they are rubbing necks?" The white guy said "no, it's when people on the other side of the road slow down to look at an accident." The Asian then said "Oh, and you are turning around and your neck rubs on your shoulder." At this point I blacked out.

I found this on a quick youtube break

Fuck you, Aquaman.

Hey Rick,

It was great having you back in town. I hope you enjoyed your visit. I am really looking forward to our trip to St. Martin in June! Good luck with the next round of classes.

Cheers,
Den

This is my house. Entry please!!

Dzjenkuye. This week I moving to a new place!!! It not close to Jewtown, but it is near to street of people who make Looleeloo called Allen's-town. Naughty naughty!

"Very NICE! Very nice room- I will not move to a smaller room!"

I moving my cousine's things to my new department. Great Success!! I throw pillows out of third story window. Jak shemash. I find more.




This my cousin pussy cat. Be careful. He bite. He have infection in his eye. His name Switter, but I call him pussyman. HAHAHA- I joke.




This my cousins. She break her cage! Wowawiwa!!!!

Sexy Time!!

Red Cross

The right way to stack babies.

Do the Bus-a-Bus

Star Wars- Cantina (my favorite part)

Short but Sweet

Stephen Hawking

Today we learned the disease that Stephen Hawking has. The most interesting part was learning that Dr. Hawking is British.

He doesn't even have an accent!

Joe Rogan.

Well, I have something disturbing to share with the group... I know Sanders is VERY familiar with this film... The challenge is to watch this video continuously without turning away or vomiting. Good luck! Please be advised, this will be disturbing:

2 Girls, 1 Cup.

I can't get the images out of my head.

It's raining in my pants

When is the hottie on the right gunna solo!!!

What What

youtoob

there is this new website called youtube. you guys should check it out...

John Mayer with Kanye:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_z-shZL1KU
Of note: I have a Casio watch and drive a Ford Focus. So fuck you John Mayer.

Derren Brown:
Trains... Of thought
This guy is awesome... the russian roulette and paying with paper episodes are awesome too.

God Warrior:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NYPLU92Kgk
She is BEAUTIFUL!